Is ayahuasca for me?

Most people who write to me ask some version of the same question: Am I ready? Some feel drawn to the medicine and nervous about it at the same time. Some are curious but don't know where to begin.

I understand the question. I used to sit in meetings at Google, wondering what else there might be to learn about myself and the world. But being curious and being medically suited to yagé are two different things. Both deserve attention.

Why do you want to come?

Burnout. A big change. Grief. A quiet feeling that you've gone numb. Wanting to know yourself a bit better. All of these are good reasons.

You don't need a catastrophe to become curious. You don't have to hate your life to want something different. Sometimes nothing is terribly wrong. You've just changed.

But yagé isn't a quick fix or an experience to tick off a list. The reason you're interested is worth exploring, and so are the practical risks and limits.

When it's not for you

I take this part very seriously. This medicine is powerful, and it isn't safe for everyone. This list is not exhaustive, and any health question should be reviewed by a qualified medical professional. Please don't drink it if:

• you take antidepressants (especially SSRIs, SNRIs or MAO inhibitors), certain other psychiatric medications, or some other medicines and supplements. Combinations can be dangerous. Any change happens with your doctor, never on your own.
• you or close family members have a history of psychosis, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
• you have a serious heart condition or high blood pressure that isn't under control.
• you are pregnant.

This is why everyone fills out an application and talks with me before a place is confirmed. If I think it isn't safe for you right now, I'll tell you plainly. Then we can look at other ways to come and be in the jungle.

You don't need experience

Many people who come here have never worked with plant medicine. You don't need to know anything. It helps to prepare: a simple diet in the weeks before, less alcohol and fewer stimulants, more rest, and some quiet time to think about your intention. We spend a month of weekly calls preparing together before you arrive.

Good doesn't mean pleasant

A ceremony can be beautiful. It can also be hard. You might be sick, cry, laugh, or run into memories you'd forgotten. People often say the medicine gives you what you need, not what you want. I can't promise you which one you'll get.

The taitas and I take preparation and your care seriously, but no ceremony is risk-free and no particular outcome can be promised. That's why screening, honest conversations, and a willingness to say no matter.

Questions worth asking yourself

• What am I hoping to explore, and what expectations might I need to loosen?
• Am I willing to hear that this may not be appropriate for me?
• Do I have enough time and support for preparation and the period afterward?
• Have I discussed relevant medical or psychiatric conditions and medications with an appropriate healthcare professional?

If you're still unsure, write to me. No pressure, no sales pitch. Sometimes the honest answer is "not now," and that's okay too.

Maybe you don't need an answer yet. Maybe you need some quiet first. What would you ask yourself, if nobody was watching?