What are we really asking plants to give us?

After a ceremony, I spoke with a young woman who shared how trapped she felt between marijuana and cigarettes. She wasn't looking to get high anymore. She was just looking for peace. It made me ask… What are we really asking these substances to give us?

It reminded me how easy it is to unintentionally turn a healing process into a transaction. When we're suffering, we naturally ask: "What can this plant give me?" I've asked that question too.

Every relationship begins with respect

In my apprenticeship, I've been learning that every plant carries its own spirit. And every relationship begins with respect:

• Meeting a plant for who it is — not simply for what we hope it will do for us.
• Asking the plant to come help us — not simply expecting it.
• Giving it gratitude for sitting with us — rather than simply moving on with the next task.

When we ask a plant to fill our emptiness, quiet our fears, or create the love we cannot yet give ourselves… we're asking it to carry something that isn't its burden. That doesn't make the relationship bad. It simply changes it — sometimes even creating an addiction.

And, ironically… I've found that the more respect I bring into the relationship, the more healing seems to unfold naturally. Not because I'm trying to take something — but because I'm in a relationship with the plant, its intelligence, and its spirit. 🌿

The conversation reminded me that plants can support us… but they cannot become our source of wholeness. Self-love. Self-respect. Peace. Those are relationships we ultimately have to cultivate within ourselves. Perhaps that's what allows every other healing relationship — including the ones with plants — to become sacred.